Shock and Awe

This is not who I am.

I hate it when I get forced to be someone I'm not, and I feel like I am being pushed into a corner where I have no choice but to be prepared to be petty, aggressive, defensive, and stubborn.

Now don't get me wrong, there are times when I can be these things (especially stubborn if I think I'm right ... I'm aware of some of my flaws!), but I do not feel these are dominant characteristics of my personality ... or at least I hope not.

I am in a living situation that is not the best. I should have forseen this problem, but as usual I attempt to see the best in people. Again, stupid Mames is right: I'm too nice for my own good.
In the last couple months, I have been accused of: watching TV too loudly, stealing a towel, parking in someone's parking spot, not cleaning the lent trap of the dryer, and more, I'm sure.

The parking issue is what led to a fight tonight. Yesterday, when I got back from Austin I parked in the driveway. It is where Mustin usually parks his truck, but they were out of town. I didn't go anywhere last night or today. I'm tired and poor, so staying home seemed like a good plan. Anyways, when the roommates arrived home, my car was parked in "the spot."

Now, me being who I am, would gladly move my car, since its a damn Ford Focus ... what the hell do I care if its parked in the street. All the roommies would have to do is come ask.

Unfortunately, Mr. No-Balls would rather be pissy and park his truck behind not just my car, but in front of the whole driveway blocking everyone in but himself. So, I let it go for several hours.

I decide I should go downstairs to ask if Murch and I should ride to work in the morning. She says sure but there will have to be reshuffling of the cars. I ask why. "Because [M]ustin is parked behind the driveway." So, I ask when is [M]ustin going to move his truck. His response:
"I don't know. When are you going to move your car?"

Not the best response to give me. I respond that the parking spot is not his. He launches into an explination that his car is worth $50000, not $3000 like mine and blah blah blah. I explain that his car is not worth that, since as soon as you drive it off the lot it loses half of its value, and my car is not worth $3000, no matter what it is. He replies about how he has something in his truck that he can move my car. I replied "But you won't."

He decided to get up and explain that from now on we should take out our own trash and take care of the yard from now on. Petty, right?

Petty is not the fight anyone wants to have with me. Especially if Mana and I have been talking about responses to this fight that we knew was coming. My response:
"Oh, ok. You don't want to have a petty fight with me. But, ok we will. We have no access to the garage since you guys use it, we should pay less rent. You also have more space than us, we should pay less rent. You have two TVs hooked up to cable, we have one: we should pay less on cable. I promise you, you do not want to have a petty fight with me. I will win. Now go move your car."

And I walk upstairs, leaving shocked silence in my wake. 10 minutes later, we hear a truck getting moved.

I know that this fight is not over and that I probably just opened up a can of worms that is going to be really hard to close, but I will not be forced to back down by Mr. No-Balls.

And although I will not be forced to be someone I'm not, I let myself be things I choose not to be normally.

And so goes the life ...

P.S. I have not been the nicest person to be around lately due to stress incurred by my present address. One of the worst things I can do is take things out on someone who doesn't deserve it. I apologize. I also apologize for the future arguments that I will probably result for the same reasons.