Destiny's Child and Social Evolution

Cause you make me feel ...

I don't think of myself as a particularly strong person, usually. Sure, I am comfortable with myself and physically I can take care of myself. Although, I don't necessarrily think of myself as strong, I know I am definitely not weak.

I was listening to one of my CDs that I haven't listend to in a long time (I rediscover CDs I own every once in a while) and one of the lines I heard seemed to describe me or what I sometime need to remind people of: "You mistake my kindness for weakness."

I went camping with some friends a while ago. I only got to go on Saturday night due to a prior engagement. It made me feel all good when I got phone calls (and loving messages that I will never erase) from the campers telling me to hurry up and get there. We were talking and joking on Sunday and someone asked "Who do you think would win in a fight between Mhris and Eric?" To be honest, I was not surprised when nearly everyone (a few remianed silent) said their money was on Mhris.

My friends and I always joke around about how we're going to kick eache other's asses and the such. It's never ever serious and its always followed by heavy laughter or another smart ass comment. But it seemes like there is always that underlying disbelief or incredulous glance that can make a person feel oh so good or oh so secure.

These feelings can even go beyond the physical. I am generally nice to everyone. In groups of friends with new people, I am usually one of the most welcoming. In fraternity meetings, I never raise my voice or say anything specifically against someone. It is a common assurance that you can be mean, malicious, or rude to or about me and not have to suffer any kind of consequences.

I admit that these misconceptions are my fault. Although not one of these hurt my feelings in any way, I am sometime quickly reminded of how people percieve me, physically and mentally. I have not always been like this. I have been mean, I have been malicious, I have been straight out rude. I have taken people down, in both body and mind. I choose not to do those things.

I just need everyone to remember one thing:

Don't think I don't remember how.

And so goes the life ...