I've been a long time gone ...
It again has been a long time since I wrote a new blog. And since I have nothing better to do, I'm not really sleepy, and I just beat Bloons Tower Defense 2 (on easy), I decided I might as well update this thing.
Not Ready to Make Nice
The house situation is not really any better than last time I talked to anyone. I thought this would have been such a great idea. I probably would have never agreed to it had I not thought Mana really was leaving. We would probably still be in our apartment, crappy as it was, yet happier. She has come up with one of the best nicknames for the illustrious roommate (MLC). And I will not write what it means on here, but know that it contains a word that I hate with a deep passion. I still feel bad about getting Mana into this crappy situation. I understand that it worked out that had a place to turn to and all that jazz, but the situation sucks so much. It created so much drama that was completely unneeded.
I think what makes me most angry about it is that I actually dislike, possibly hate, someone. I almost never hate anyone. I can get along with almost anyone and everyone. Its, I think, one of my best qualities. And to know that I can't make it work either proves what a horrible person she is or that I am not as good a person as I thought I was. I choose to blame her, since it couldn't possibly be me.
April cannot come soon enough.
There's Your Trouble
So alcohol has gotten me in to trouble lately. And not even good trouble. I managed to make a complete ass of myself at Ren Fest, which is highly embarassing. I get it that everyone can laugh about it and its not like my friends would stop being my friend because of it, but its not like me to let go and get totally wasted. I'm not the biggest fan of it. I'm a much bigger fan of taking care of other people than being the one taken care of. I don't like it and hopefully will be a long time before it happens again. Still embarassed!
Oh yeah ... and I went to work with a giant hangover on Saturday ... Happy Birthday, Mauren!
Somedays You Gotta Dance
It's true. Work is hard this year. Not hard in the sense that the kids are bad or anything to that effect. Thank the heavens for my students' ability to behave (I'm hoping that my amazing classroom management skills has something to do with it, but I might just be lucky). The hard part is simply keeping up. I'm teaching 4 different subjects this year, so it is a little bit taxing. I am teaching 6th grade Social Studies, World History, AP World History, and Speech Communications. The class that is kicking my ass is AP World History. We have to move at breakneck speed in order to get done with the book by the AP examination. I still have not figured out how to teach them to be better writers. It is amazingly frustrating to know how to write a paper and how to answer a question, yet not be able to figure out how to relay that information. I'm not a freakin English teacher!!! I'm a little scared that they are all going to fail the AP exam and I am going to look like an awful AP teacher. I know we will get there ... they had to have picked me for a reason, right???
Also about work, this year has a totally different atmosphere than last year. Ortega is gone, which bums me out still. The new teachers are all really sweet and nice, but overly professional. I know that I should expect that and we are all in the real world, but I was spoiled by last year. It doesn't help that MLC sucks the life out of any room she walks into, but most of the people are that "professional nice". There are exceptions, and in reality, there are more exceptions than those that follow the rule, but everyone knows the rule: If 19 things go right in a day and 1 thing goes wrong, you will focus on that 1 thing that went wrong. Anyways, there are several new folks that I enjoy (and of course the oldies that I love!).
Don't Waste Your Heart
So I'm not exactly the happiest with where I am right now. I'm happy that I'm in San Antonio. I'm happy that I have great friends. I'm happy with my job. Yet there is something missing. And I know its my fault that its missing. I'm just not quite sure how to go about fixing that. Not being a big, giant pansy might help matters, but I don't see that happening in the forseeable future. So, I will probably stay right where I am ... at least in that department.
Wide Open Spaces
I see alot of choices ahead of me and I'm not exactly sure about what I should do. I want to go to grad school ... I'm just not sure if I should go for Ed. Lead. or C&I. I'm scared to death that I am going to go to grad school to become an administrator, then get in the job and absolutely hate it. I would be so upset if I wasted time and money for something I hated. But, I know I have to go get my masters. Everyone's getting (or got) them, so gotta keep up with the jones's! Not the best reason in the world to get one, but if it lights a fire under me, it can't hurt.
I also don't know if I should get my teacher certification with my masters or get that first, then do the masters. If I get it with my masters, I'm definitely going to have to get my degree in C&I. If I don't, I have the option of getting it in Ed. Lead.
I don't like not knowing what to do.
The Long Way Around
I'm sure I'm going to figure everything out. I just have to make decisions, which I always either make last minute or end up choosing all the wrong ones in order to take the long way around to get the right one.
The important thing to remember is that I always get to the right one. Just gotta be patient.
And so goes the life ...
No comments:
Post a Comment