Musings on a Quote from Oz

"Oh, you caused me grief. And I want to thank you for it. You know, most of us tumble into our lives. We become who we are almost by accident. We try very hard not to look backwards, afraid to find out that maybe we shoud have done something else. But you forced me to look backwards; to question every element of my identity. But I discovered I am who I am. And all of these parts of me are not on accident." - Sister Peter Marie, Oz

I love this quote.

I have been thinking alot about the past year. I am finally not President anymore, and as sad as it is, I feel relieved as well. I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to and I didn't manage to bring the everyone together as one big happy family like I wanted, but I know in my heart that I did the best job I could.

And I know that I made the organization a better fraternity for the people that really wanted to be there. I love the fraternity. And I absolutely love those that helped me through one of the hardest semesters I ever had.

I will never be able to thank my friends enough for helping me though the Fall semester. Those that were in the organization may not have always agreed with me, but they listened and were there for me when I needed them. Those that were not in the fraternity, were there to pick me up when I was down. And my family listened and helped in any way that they could. When I thought there was no way out and I doubted myself and everything else, I knew that there were people there to do whatever they did to make me realize I had to be strong.

And I was.

And I still am. I survived. To make it to the Spring semester. When everything was supposed to be better. And thank God that it was. The Spring only proved to me that sometimes good does prevail. It reminds me that good things do happen. It reminded me that there are some people that I can count on.

And I'm not saying anyone is evil. I might be saying that certain actions were less than civil or good-intentioned. I'm still not quite sure what brought them on, or what brought about such ill-will and hatred towards me when I not once (NOT ONCE) did the same to them.

And I wanted to. Oh, believe me, I wanted to. I so wanted to sink to levels of unbeknownst anger and vengence. And even if I didn't do that, I at least wanted to air my feelings. I wantd to write and post and tell everyone what I went through. I kept telling myself that if I made it through the entire year, I would finally be able to tell everyone about the horrible and terrible things people put me through.

But I didn't. And I still won't. I did it. And I'm proud of myself. "I discoverd I am who I am," and I like that person.

And I'm proud of the fraternity as I am leaving it: happy and hopeful.

I truly believe that the actives of the Spring semester, the pledges of the Dana Duncan Pledge Class, and the new officers are going to do an amazing job. And hopefully they will let me help and bask in their glory.

Again, I thank each and every one of my friends and family that listened, that told me when I was wrong, that argued with me to prove a point, that pulled me up when I felt lower than I ever had in my life, and that were there by my side when I needed them most. Thank you for all your support.

And so goes the life ...