The Resolution

A: When do you like a Snickers?
B: Around noon, when your hunger's ah ... pokin at ya-pokin at ya.

The New Year's is a time to reflect (and recover from the night before). It's a time to look back at the year past and look at the year ahead. It's a time to look at everythin you accomplished (and the things you didn't) and set new goals for this year. And what better way to set a goal than the New Year's Resolution.

The New Year's Resolution, I'm sure, began with good intentions. Sonmeone decided that it would be a good time for people to choose something to focus on in the coming year. What it has become is something different. To some, its a joke. To others, its the bane of their existance.
I fall into the latter group. I choose things that are difficult or impossible. For example, I and the rest of America resolved to lose weight last year. This is the best resolution ever: a country of chubby people with a McDonald's or donut shop on every corner ... real likely. And since I really am that person that orders 20 McNuggets, Extra Vaslue Fries and a diet coke, its really likely for me. But, by golly, I was going to lose weight. So, on New Year's Day (after I arrived back in Arlington from New Orleans and being thrown up on at midnight ... no really), we took a damily trip to Barnes & Noble. I have never seen so many people in the self-help aisle. Anyways, I head my way into the crowd and decide Atkins is the way to go.

Now, do not get me wrong. Atkins does work ... if you have the discipline. I, knowing myself, knew that I could not do it alone, so I enlisted my work-buddy Robynn Deal. The Deal (haha) was to tackle this beast together. And I was serious (after all, I bought a book!). I bought sugar-free candy for the Hematology & Chemistry Supervisors' office. I took my mom to Sam's to buy every kind of meat in bulk. I bought 10 bags of Pork Rinds. I was armed and ready,
Work was easy. I ate breakfast and lunch with Robynn. Home was a diffrerent story. I would sit with my beef and c hicken while mother and sister dined on chicken fried steak, or tacos, or burgers, or spaghetti, or a multitude of other things I loved. School started soon after, so I didn't eat with them cause I got home so late. Success was assured!

Then, Robynn fell. Her mom had made her famos homemade Pizza and Robynn could not resist. The homemade cobbler sealed the Deal (haha). Robynn had deserted me for dessert!
I was standing alone. I lasted til the end of February. I lost 17 lbs, but hadn't eaten anything I wanted for 2 months. I fell and hard. No more meat. No more pork rinds. No more sugar free candy. I wanted pasta, cheetos and a snickers. And I got it. And all was right in the world.
We set ourselves up for failure with these resolutions. We pick somethiing difficult, thinking "This year, I'm really going to do it." It's not likely. You didn't do it last year, you didn't do it the year before. Let it go!

So this year, I will do it different. I resolve to enjoy my friends, family, and everybody else. I resolve to party. I resolve to sit and watch TV when I want to. I resolve to play Roller Coaster Tycoon and on the internet.

Most importantly, I resolve to have a good time!And maybe lose a little weight.

And so goes the life ...